Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why is it that when the Lord moves, speaks, and reveals, the enemy thinks he has the next move? Last night I was sitting in a prayer meeting and the Lord very clearly spoke to me, revealing things about His will for my life, and wouldn't you know it, the minute the meeting was over I was sick to my stomach. This isn't the first time this has happened either. Throughout my walk, and even before, a recurring pattern is seen: God moves, I get sick. The summer before my senior year of high school, my youth group went on a mission trip to Mexico. I really felt called to the ministry at this time, specifically to the mission field, and while we were there I ingested the water, and was car sick in the back of a van for 3 hours. This is only one of the many stories I have about this, but last night I got to thinking about it...I realized that the enemy is not only trying to take me out spiritually, but also physically. Why does he feel like he can do that?? I actually think its funny in a way. You're mad that I won't be joining you for eternity and that I'm taking as many people with me as I possibly can, so you give me stomach problems? "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete. lacking in nothing." -James 1:2. 

Two part prayer.

Miracles. They followed in Your wake. Everywhere You went, they were present. Can my walk with You be like that? Will You awaken a faith within me that stirs You to do miraculous things through me? Will You use me to heal the lepers…cause the blind to see…cast out demons…heal the sick…raise the dead…cause the mute to speak…preach the Gospel to all who will hear? I don’t care if I am hated by this world for doing so because it has nothing to offer me. “Some want to live within the sound of chapel bells; I want to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell” C.T. Studd. That is the desire of my heart. Do with me what you will. I’ll sacrifice everything to gain You and to see Your glory revealed in my measly life. I will give up dreams, hopes, plans, whatever You require of me, in order to save lost and dying people.

You hid Moses in the cleft of the mountain so he could see your back…I want to see all of you, even if it means my death. The word “radical” isn’t sufficient for what I want to be for You…”For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you…” (2 Corinthians 5:13).

Since when did I become so worried about offending people that I began to sugar-coat the Gospel to the point it is almost unrecognizable, or even left out all together in my conversations? And why,  from the pulpit and the mouths of christians, are “warm fuzzies” more prevalent than the truth? Proverbs teaches us that, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips” (24:26), and that, “Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue” (28:22). James tells us, “Whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sin” (5:19-20).You weren’t afraid to offend people’s sinful nature, so why are your people? 

This is not to say I am not sinful, or we, as christians aren’t, because like Paul said, “I[We] am[are] the least of these” (1 Corinthians 15:9), but to the Pharisees and the lost in our world, I want to be an example by not only how I live, but also in striving to always have truths on my lips.

Not that this “brimstone and fire” message is necessary to scare people out of hell, because that isn’t the Gospel at all, it is “God’s kindness [that] leads you to repentance” (Romans 2:4), but that we stop fearing rejection from man, and start showing the lost the love of a perfect Father who wants nothing more than to be in fellowship with them.

No matter the sacrifice demanded of us, or what we have to endure,God give Your people the grace to do what you have called us to. “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8).

I want to leave this earth knowing nothing held me back from fulfilling Your plan for my life. No more timidity, I’m ready to burn for you…